Parenting can be stressful, especially when it comes to planning vacations. For Courtney Hardie, growing up meant a week-long trip to her grandfather’s remote fishing cabin without electricity or running water in Canada. Though she has wonderful memories of the experience, she felt as if she missed out on new cultures and experiences. As a parent herself, she is dedicated to providing her children with trips that expose them to unfamiliar parts of the world. This drive for perfection has left most of the planning up to her, as her husband is not much of a planner. She admits that hyper-planning has left her stressed out before the trips.
This kind of labor required in planning a vacation is called the mental load, which is defined as “the never-ending, behind-the-scenes mental gymnastics required for everything to get done.” In most households, mothers take on the bulk of the work in organizing the family’s activities, including vacays, which takes a toll on their mental and emotional well-being. Delegation is sometimes difficult because mothers are already overloaded with tasks that need checking off.
The mental load is not simply a theoretical concept; it is a real cause of stress for many parents, mostly mothers. It is the weight of constantly calculating time and effort to orchestrate successful trips and activities that leave most mothers exhausted and anxious. They are responsible for scheduling important appointments, renewing contracts, remembering to pack the essentials, conducting research on kid-safe essentials and many more.
According to one study, women were found to be more prone to anxiety, exhaustion, and sleep-destroying ruminating over unfinished tasks than men. Although some men are now stepping up to help, most mothers still carry the mental burden alone.
In conclusion, mothers plan most family vacations, and they bear an overwhelming mental and emotional load that affects their well-being. They constantly need to orchestrate everything from planning, scheduling, logistics to research, and packing. Although society has come a long way in terms of shared responsibility, there is still more work to be done. Fathers and partners can offer more help and guidance, and society can recognize and support these extra responsibilities placed on mothers. By relieving this invisible load from mothers’ shoulders, we can create healthier and happier families. The mental load is a real issue, and we need to address it.
